Secure bonds are the foundation of a stable society

June 7, 2025

A secure society begins with secure bonds – and these are not created by technology, infrastructure or laws, but through relationships, care and reliability in early childhood. Karl-Heinz B. van Lier’s article strikes a chord that is all too often overlooked in public debate: Security at the core of a person’s being comes from emotional security – and this is rooted in our earliest experiences of attachment.

Children who have reliably experienced being seen, held and understood develop a stable sense of basic trust – the foundation for mental health, relationship skills and social participation. Without this foundation, fractures occur: in biographies, in partnerships, in communities – and ultimately in society itself.

Politicians like to talk about ‘resilience’ and ‘social cohesion’ without naming the real source: attachment. A society in which bonds are fragile – whether due to broken families, overwhelmed parents or early institutional care – also becomes unstable in other areas: in dealing with crises, in empathy, in social interaction.

So when we talk about ‘security’ – whether in digital, economic or social terms – we must finally also talk about the basic emotional security of the individual. Because those who feel secure at their core do not need to face the world with fear and defensiveness.

Stable societies need stable people. And stable people need stable bonds. Taking responsibility for this – including politically – is not a private matter. It is a question of the future viability of our society.

Article on the Foundation for Family Values: https://www.stiftung-familienwerte.de/post/fr%C3%BChe-sichere-bindung-die-entscheidende-grundlage-f%C3%BCr-ein-gelungenes-leben?cid=d77a17fd-e389-487d-9357-4c5bedac53fc

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